The Princess & the bear


The short stories of Zeek Catweazle are legendary and I will try and posts as many as I can here.


Zeek's humour is an acquired taste and can be controversial, it might shock more than a few people.




"Mee-mah,mee-mah, I pee,I pee, I am a firetender." screamed demented ex-Fireman Spaz, an inmate of Dangleberry Lunatic asylum, as he ran urinating thru the gardens of the afore mentioned asylum, his penis flapping around like a fireman's hose.

"Oh for fuck sake" sighed the male nurse Sam Sammyson "get the butterfly net out, we have to catch Spaz again,"

"for fuck sake" the other nurses said

"but wait" Doctor Ahmed Chawadeewadaa said,

"just let's see, what he's up to.....aha!, I see, let him continue."

The nurses were astonished as to why the Dr Ahmed had said this.

But within seconds it was evident why and as they realised the reason, they all laughed out loud...'ha ha ha" they said.

For Spaz was standing peeing all over Old Man Grumpybastard...because., well would you believe it, the old man was smoking in a non smoking rude, that is just not the thing to do.

The good news is.....Old Spaz recieved an extra sausage at tea-time for his daring act.





when dreams become reality


.....And so it begins:

There is, far from reality, hidden in the realms of your mind, a very special place where dreams come true.

This place is called Destiny, the land of dreams.

It is there, that a beautiful princess watches over the dreams and wishes of those who adore her and with an affectionate smile, she spread love into the hearts of those willing to receive.

There are, however, many evil forces in this realm, trying to distort this love and by attacking the Princess' soul, her tears fall instead of smiles wide.

Lies are told, spreading nasty rumours about the sincerity of her passion and her soul and even though she is strong at heart and her wisdom tells her to ignore the nonsense said, it still pains her greatly.

luckily she is not alone in her dream, she is worshipped by one very special heart and this Guardian Angel, is one hairy cuddly bear.

It pleases her to know, when she is in a doubting mood or loneliness falls upon her aching body, the bear protects her, without pause for a second thought.

For he adores her, since their first chance meeting, many moons ago, in a place called dreams, when the bear just happened to pass through hers.

But all is not perfect in this realm and the bear, even in his conquest to protect this princess, he falls foul to the merriment of his faults. he loses his way in the demon drink and his over-anxious nature to please and protect her, sometimes floods her free spirit and drowns her in this fantasy.

But as always the sweet aroma of her angelic body and her smile would always be enough to tame the bear and keep him on the right path.

"Life has many cruel roads, we all must walk," growled the bear "and to survive in this fantasy, we must make it reality. We must learn from our mistakes and not judge people through the eyes of envy."

"Time is a healer and our love a healer of all pains and worries" he continued, wiping a teardrop from his eye.

This was not only a very caring bear, but also a very wise bear.

"One must not dwell on past life, or scorn chances lost. One must look to a new dawn, with open arms."

" I know we must be aware of a chance of evil that lurks within everyone that passes," the bear paused....

"But we must also be open to accepting the keyholder, to unlock the door to our souls and open missing this person, our souls will remain locked for the rest of eternity and beyond."

This bear was an old bear, a very experienced bear, he had seen life, through many different eyes in his lifetime.

His sincerity opened the Princess to a new life.

"we must be who we want to be," continued the bear "We must live our lives the way we want. We must feel free, even when surrounded by those who love and adore us," again he paused, but his silent smile would warm even the iciest of days.

He felt the love the Princess gave him and even apart they were still one.

Their reign of love and Goodness will reign through this hard torrent world and the love they project will cover their lands forever. For love conquers all