The World Championships of Domino's has had scandal after
scandal plaguing the competition since day 1. The organising
committee has reached the end of the line and in the winter
they are planning to rewrite the rulebook.
Firstly, the cough mixture sucky sweets doping scandal. It was
revealed 8 from the 10 teams competiting had sucky sweets with a
substance to enhance their domino brain...most used cough syrup,
known for its advantages in the domino world
Secondly, the match-fixing scandal, signs, tapping noises were
being made to message a partner what domino was needed.
Henry 'Bones' Winkleman, the President of the W.F.D.A.
(the World federation of Dominos Association) remarked:
"Cheating bastards the lot of them."
His language could be contributed to the fact his team 'Le Beensoup Domino Maniacs' being knocked out first round by the 96 year olds of the Granny Bones Association from Sluttington, as he is known for being a bad looser.
More news on this story, as it progresses.
Yesterday's Quarterfinals were of the highest standard and something positive for the name of the Dominos World.
3 matches were very close and the Granny Bones Association v Young Dom Boys match even had to go to Penalties, with the Grannies winning 10-9. The only match to be decided very early was The woman Liberation team, who totally annihilated the Aggressive Husband team 25-0.
We are looking forward to the semi's, the two top favourites: The Granny Bones Association and the Boys of Ivory Gay Domino Team are still in the running, but will the surprise team the Hells Angels Dom team snatch the grand prize. Nobody wants The Woman Liberation Team to win.....but who is your favourites to win?........
"Cheating bastards the lot of them."
according to Henry 'Bones' Winkleman
Here are yesterday's Quarter final results:
Boys of Ivory Gay Domino team beat The Dentists 25-23
The Hells Angels Dom team beat The Cops 25-24
The Womans Liberation team beat Aggressive Husbands 25-0
the Granny Bones Association beat Young Dom boys 25-25
(the Granny Bones Association go through after penalties, winning 10-9)
Saturday's Semi Final fixtures
The Granny Bones Association versus The Woman Liberation Team
The Hells Angels Dom team versus Boys of Ivory Gay Domino team
Former Russian Pole vaulter Gustav Fellova has taken up a new challange, in the hopes of being selected for the Russian Athletics Team in time for the Rwanda Olympics in 2020
Gustav (pictured left) seen here during training for the marathon was positive he would make it, as the steriods were finally starting to work.
When our reporter remarked that he had no legs, the thing needed for a marathon. He replied 'Ach, id iv but a minorov problemski
The latest news from Moscow is that Gustav has failed in his attempt. The limit being 4 hours. Gustav took 10 days 6 hours to finish.
But Gustav is not deterred and is already training for a new attempt as a speed skater
last night's rugby match, between The Big Ugly babies and The Dummy Tits had to be abandoned at half time because referee Mrs Mum had had enough of the bickering and sobbing during the first half.
"I couldn't get a moments peace and both teams have been sent to bed without cocoa." she told our reporter.
Captain Pepe Poopoo (below) of the Big Ugly Babies refused to comment and just sat there in the huff
SMELLY MEDITATION CORNER: HUMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!
Yesterday's sporting results
Foddleburg Race course
3.15 Hornyman stakes
1st Wankumhard 2/1 fav
2nd Cumzoquick 8/1
3rd Saftwillie 200/1
4.20 Ladies Room Challange
1st Tamponbin 4/1
2nd Lipstick and pubes evens fav
3rd Bitch fight 21/1
5.15 The Who Handicap
1st Keith Moons 12/8 fav
2nd Rogered Adultery 5/1
3rd Wet John's whistle 30000/1
Pete Tied-down-again DNF
Foddleburg Premier League
OAP Girl Guides 4 theFun 0
Farmers in drag 3 Sheep 2
Retards & Spaz 0 SM Bitches 88
Coke Boke Division 1
Cock Rovers 0 Minge Ath 0
(abandoned after foreplay)
Mud Wrestling results
Caked in Girls beat the Bum boys
Cannasee FO beat Pokin Men
National Hopping final
Legless nuns beat Gay Kangeroos
(after extra time hop off)
JOKE OF THE MONTH
A man phones down to the reception of a hotel and he is really pissed off
he says "You better get up here, pronto. My wife and I are having an aggressive argument and she has threatened to jump out of the window."
The receptionist says "I am very sorry sir, but it is Hotel policy, not to get involved in domestic troubles."
The man Answers "Yeah!, but I can't get the fucking window open and that is YOUR problem."
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