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3 times a year,every 4 months October,February,June

Copyright © s.a.smith/zeekthefreak 2017. All rights reserved.

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The World Championships of Domino's has had scandal after

scandal plaguing the competition since day 1. The organising

committee has reached the end of the line and in the winter

they are planning to rewrite the rulebook.

 

Firstly, the cough mixture sucky sweets doping scandal. It was

revealed 8 from the 10 teams competiting had sucky sweets with a

substance to enhance their domino brain...most used cough syrup,

known for its advantages in the domino world

 

Secondly, the match-fixing scandal, signs, tapping noises were

being made to message a partner what domino was needed.

 

Henry 'Bones' Winkleman, the President of the W.F.D.A.

(the World federation of Dominos Association) remarked:

 

"Cheating bastards the lot of them."

 

His language could be contributed to the fact his team 'Le Beensoup Domino Maniacs' being knocked out first round by the 96 year olds of the Granny Bones Association from Sluttington, as he is known for being a bad looser.

 

More news on this story, as it progresses.

 

Yesterday's Quarterfinals were of the highest standard and something positive for the name of the Dominos World.

3 matches were very close and the Granny Bones Association v Young Dom Boys match even had to go to Penalties, with the Grannies winning 10-9. The only match to be decided very early was The woman Liberation team, who totally annihilated the Aggressive Husband team 25-0.

 

We are looking forward to the semi's, the two top favourites: The Granny Bones Association and the Boys of Ivory Gay Domino Team are still in the running, but will the surprise team the Hells Angels Dom team snatch the grand prize. Nobody wants The Woman Liberation Team to win.....but who is your favourites to win?........

"Cheating bastards the lot of them."

according to Henry 'Bones' Winkleman

Here are yesterday's Quarter final results:

 

Boys of Ivory Gay Domino team beat The Dentists 25-23

 

The Hells Angels Dom team beat The Cops 25-24

 

The Womans Liberation team beat Aggressive Husbands 25-0

 

the Granny Bones Association beat Young Dom boys 25-25

(the Granny Bones Association go through after penalties, winning 10-9)

 

 

Saturday's Semi Final fixtures

 

The Granny Bones Association versus The Woman Liberation Team

The Hells Angels Dom team versus Boys of Ivory Gay Domino team

Doping scandal plagues Domino Championships

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ATHLETICS

Former Russian Pole vaulter Gustav Fellova has taken up a new challange, in the hopes of being selected for the Russian Athletics Team in time for the Rwanda Olympics in 2020

Gustav (pictured left) seen here during training for the marathon was positive he would make it, as the steriods were finally starting to work.

 

When our reporter remarked that he had no legs, the thing needed for a marathon. He replied 'Ach, id iv but a minorov problemski

The latest news from Moscow is that Gustav has failed in his attempt. The limit being 4 hours. Gustav took 10 days 6 hours to finish.

But Gustav is not deterred and is already training for a new attempt as a speed skater

RUGBY

last night's rugby match, between The Big Ugly babies and The Dummy Tits had to be abandoned at half time because referee Mrs Mum had had enough of the bickering and sobbing during the first half.

"I couldn't get a moments peace and both teams have been sent to bed without cocoa." she told our reporter.

Captain Pepe Poopoo (below) of the Big Ugly Babies refused to comment and just sat there in the huff

sponsors

SMELLY MEDITATION CORNER: HUMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!

Yesterday's sporting results

Racing Results

 

Foddleburg Race course

 

 

3.15 Hornyman stakes

 

1st Wankumhard 2/1 fav

2nd Cumzoquick 8/1

3rd Saftwillie 200/1

 

 

4.20 Ladies Room Challange

 

1st Tamponbin 4/1

2nd Lipstick and pubes evens fav

3rd Bitch fight 21/1

 

 

5.15 The Who Handicap

 

1st Keith Moons 12/8 fav

2nd Rogered Adultery 5/1

3rd Wet John's whistle 30000/1

Pete Tied-down-again DNF

Football Results

 

Foddleburg Premier League

 

OAP Girl Guides 4 theFun 0

Farmers in drag 3 Sheep 2

Retards & Spaz 0 SM Bitches 88

 

 

Coke Boke Division 1

 

Cock Rovers 0 Minge Ath 0

(abandoned after foreplay)

 

 

Mud Wrestling results

 

Caked in Girls beat the Bum boys

Cannasee FO beat Pokin Men

 

 

National Hopping final

 

Legless nuns beat Gay Kangeroos

(after extra time hop off)

FOR A RAINY DAY

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answers on page 4

JOKE OF THE MONTH

 

A man phones down to the reception of a hotel and he is really pissed off

he says "You better get up here, pronto. My wife and I are having an aggressive argument and she has threatened to jump out of the window."

The receptionist says "I am very sorry sir, but it is Hotel policy, not to get involved in domestic troubles."

The man Answers "Yeah!, but I can't get the fucking window open and that is YOUR problem."

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