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3 times a year,every 4 months October,February,June

Copyright © s.a.smith/zeekthefreak 2017. All rights reserved.

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film showbiz music gossip

Following on from the very successful films: 3 men and a baby, 3 men and a little lady and 3 men and a Russian prostitute. The makers of No Budget Films are releasing 3 men and a metal railing sometime next year. Starring Zeekilioni de Freakilioni, Don de la Philippo, Bert Pea and a railing

The latest film news from Barry Nobman

a scene from he new blockbuster film 3 men and a metal railing

It is unclear what the storyline is, but we can assure you, that it does involve three men and a metal railing.

 

Japanese/American film maker Han Camera told us. "We velly excited, we pee panties. This velly long time coming and this makes us YENny happy!"

Where about he burst into a fit of laughter.

I can reveal, that we are also 'velly excited' but we didn't pee our panties and also that filming starts next week.

 

 

SHORT FILM NEWS

 

Steven Spielberg has started filming a follow up to the Saving Private Ryan film. It is the story of a soldier caught up in the war and a bomb and thus ends up in hospital. The film will be called Saving Ryan's Privates. Due for release in 2019

TomWanks is set to play the leading role.

 

The history of Tiddlywinks will be made into a blockbuster documentary film called Lord of the Pings. the film is set to star Leonardo DiFlickio & George Clueless

Zeek Catweazle is NOT joining AC DC

 

Contrary to what has written in the National Press and was broadcasted on national television, top entertainer, Zeek Catwezale is not joining AC DC as their new lead singer.

"Who writes this garbage", Zeek said in an interview to Granny Pyshderpants (see that interview here below)"

The band refused to comment, but Angus did mumble..."....and that on a school night, sigh!'

Who will take over from Brian Johnson is unknown, but it won't be Zeek

the blatant lie printed by the media just to boost sales

get it

 

advertisement

Sukodu for total fucking morons

Spot the (Bing Croby) differences

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easier than you thought,eh?

Photo left has a jacket on, has different ears, has different eyes & eyebrows, a different nose, lips and chin. In fact it's a totally different person. but they are both called Bing Crosby LOL

Thanks to.....

Little Zed's poem (from page 1)

Puzzle answers

get it

 

The Fools Funnybone is an idea & created & written by Zeek Catweazle

at the Tight Fisted Cheapo Studios, Cabannes, France

Published by Dodgy Bastard Promotions, Dundee, Scotland

Some photo's were borrowed, but the humour, the design & concept of the Fools Funnybone is (c) s.a.smith/ZEEKtheFREAK 2017

You can contact me,via the form below or email @Fools Funnybone

 

Do you have an funny advertisement, send it in. Remember to add' 'advertisement' to the subject.'

Do you have tips or ideas, that you think would work in the Fools Funnybone, feel free to send your idea. Remember to add 'idea' as subject.

If you would like to be included in one of the stories, send me an email, adding 'include me' as subject, but give me some tips of your good and bad points...it is on your own risk, anything can happen, but remember, it's all in fun, so no moaning afterwards LOL

 

if you are a grumpy bastard and just want to moan or complain, then stand in line and I'll get back to you in about 10 years or you can just FUCK OFF...this tabloid is all in fun, it is not meant to hurt,maim or disrespect anyone. So lighten up ffs

 
 
 
 
 

Personal wanted

 

County jail needs some new inmates. If you would like some a relaxing time then go to break-the-law.com. Only job requirements: GCE diploma to break rocks.

call 02346.63524 (this will be your number)

 

Dodgy bastards Protection Ltd are looking for a few shady characters to threaten and beat up pensioners and shop keepers. Must be handy with hands and a hatchet. Don't call us, we'll call you

 

Foddleburg Royal Infirmary is looking people with small warm hands to be a willie washer in the vasectomy section of the hospital. Are you young blond 18 and want a great future in health. Then come along for a personal interview in 5 minutes would be fine

Personal offered

 

Rubber Johnny is looking for work in the sex industry. Any department will be fine. Even just making the tea

email rj@spandex.com

 

Fluffy the giant Bunny Wabbit needs someone to cuddle. If you think you could handle him. Hop over and see him at the Foddleburg Petting Zoo

 

Rent a thug. Hatchet Harry Fuckumall is offering his services for a minimum fee. No job is too small. Heads caved in, shops burnt down. No down payment necessary and he offers an easy monthly payment scheme

call Harry 06 111111111

For sale

 

A new brain. Due to modern technology we are offering for a limited time only. Mungo's all new Plastic brain for only $30,000 we will send it straight to your home and for only another $500.000 we'll put the fucker in your head. Don't delay, get a sensible person to call today

Mungo..the brain that matters call 02346 222222

 

Dundee Football Club. for just $2 Dundee F. C. , In fact, we'll give you the $2 instead. Be warned, they are shyte

 

Wanted

 

Advertisements for the Fools Funnybone. Send yours into the address below

GROOVY PEOPLE. SEND IN YOUR ADS. USE THE FORM BELOW. MAKE ME LAUGH AND I WILL PUT THEM IN

NEXT TIME

If you enjoy the Fools Funnybone, please feel free to send me an email

and share your thoughts info@zeek.org.uk or info@zeekthefreak.com

Or join the ZEEKtheFREAK forum 'la chambre des âmes démentes'.

Spread the word on Facebook and twitter and all social media

ZEEKtheFREAK

Granny Pyshderpants will get the answers, when she interrogates someone famous. No holding back, straight for the jugular.

 

This edition ZEEKtheFREAK (Zeek Catweazle)

 

GP: Right f**kface, when is the f**k is the CD coming out?

Z: I hope to have it ready by Xmas

GP: yeah!, but what f**king year, you fanny?

Z: No, I mean this year.

GP: Okay......Yes or No, are you joining AC DC?

Z: Who writes this garbage?...... (granny interups Zeek)

GP: Listen to the question, I said Yes or No, you fucking asswipe

Z: No

 

...and with that Zeek broke down and the interview was over. Once more Granny uses the assertive apporoach and gets the answers.

 

Next Time.....some other poor bastard

HELP MAKE A DIFFERENCE

My friends,

 

The Fools Funnybone is a non-profitable tabloid and is free to everyone, but you can make a difference and help to keep it free by making a small donation to the cause.

 

Remember those beautiful words of Winston Churchill:

 

“We make a living by what we get,

But we make a life by what we give.”

 

Please use the donation form here and I thank you for your help

 

Zeek Catweazle

Plus a new Cartoon:

The Freaky Heads

also

Ray and Stevie

a couple of really funny musicians

All this and much much more in

the insanity continues

 

including

Copyright © 1996-2017 www.zeekthefreak.com. All rights reserved.

All the latest news and gossip from the world of showbiz with our very own pornstar Candy Cummings

 

My loves, as you know, I am not one for starting rumours but what is the deal with Celebrity

couple Top Chef and raving

thespian Roberto Brown and

Opera singer Gerry Marsden.

I have heard numerous rumours

both have had health problems.

I also heard Roberto had had a

bum lift and that he was having

an affair with Shaun the sheep. He refused to comment.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Very strong rumours have reached us, this week, that singing, acting, dancing superstar Julie

Andrews can add alcoholic to that

list. We are sorry to inform fans,

that she really is hitting the bottle

hard (as our photo reveals) Even

after her time in the Nunnery didn't

help. Julie has starred in such

films as the Sound of spewing and

Mary Poppers and now she is no

longer starring but staring into

a bottle. Manager Dyke van Dick

was distraught and was saw hiding

all the liquor bottles in his apartment as they were expecting

the alc.....Julie.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Celebrity swimmer Cod, the fish man is scaling down his tv

appearances as he has been battered a few

times while on location. Cod (pictured left)

did, however, manage to tell me. 'He had

had a whale of a time but was taking a

break to spend some time with 6 million

sprawling fish egg children. Cod is best

known for his time on the programme,

I'm a celebrity fish get me out of this oil.

 

That's it for now, join me again next time for more spicy and glamerous showbiz gossip you sad bastards like to read.

 

 

 

 

 

luv ya

Candy Cummings

 

Z Z Top (whose lead singer and bongo player Billy 'funky' Gibbon is pictured left) have just released their 105th album and would you believe yet another Greatest hits album, I think it's their 46th to date, a bit like they are struggling to write new songs. Do ya think? Later this year they are to embark on a world tour, taking them to places their O.A.P. Pensioners Bus pass will allow them.

Another superstar with a drinking problem is Dean Martin. Our picture here shows Dean posing as an airline pilot just to get extra duty free booze. he is now banned from every airline in the world except Buddy Holly Airlines and Jerry Lewis Nice Lady Airlines

Police have warned the public to approach Dean with caution if they see him in the bar. He has been known to attack people with Spontaneous singing

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