edition3

Dodgy Bastards Promotions in conjuction with Zeek Productions & ZEEKtheFREAK proudly present....

Reporting the stories the mainstream media chooses to ignore.

3 times a year,February,June,October                                                                                                                Copyright © 1996-2017 www.zeek.org.uk  All rights reserved.

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By our ace reporter Fungus McNosyfecker

ALIENS ARE LIVING IN MY TOILET!

Suzy Peachiecheeks of Boggle lane has revealed a dark secret, she has kept hidden for years. She claims everytime she goes to use the toilet, she is not alone and it smells bad, claiming that aliens are living in her toilet.

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Mr. Shet Glugglug assures neighbours on Boggle Lane, that there are no aliens and that Miss Peachiecheeks was just a nutjob and will be dealt with by our superior leaders....eh'm he meant social services

suzy in the toilet

Mrs Ehflewa Spaceship

Local zillionaire to open new shopping centre


Local business man and sanitare tycoon Mustuva Jobbie (pictured right) has revealed plans to open a super modern new shopping centre in the centre of town.

Mr. Jobbie explained yesterday at a press meeting:

 

                   "ममैं सिर्फ वही करता हूं जो मैं चाहता हूं,       

                 क्योंकि मैं अमीर हूं और क्योंकि आप किसान हैं "


but since no one there or at the Fools Funnybone can speak Hindi, we just guessed he said he was happy to do it for the community and local business.

Mr. Jobbie made his fortune seeling toilets seats etc and now his advertisement slogan 'YOUR ASS IS MINE' is worldwidely known and is a household saying.

NOT PLAIN SAILING

When we caught up with Mr Jobbie on his luxury yaght, we explained it would not all be plain sailing to get the project completed, as he was facing stiff opposition from the local Catholic church, which is exactly next door to where the centre is to be built,

but Mr Jobbie just laughed and said

 

                    मुझे परवाह नहीं है कि एक ऊंट की बूंदों का बेटा

                    क्या कहता है। मैं जहां चाहूंगा, वहां निर्माण करूंगा

When we approached the church for their views, we received an email from his holiness Pope Argie Bargy (pictured above). It said:


               Stultus quoque si ponere voluerit in lateribus, mittemus

               facie gravis MANIPLUS camelus Donec circum


Which really pissed us off, because we had hoped to bring you an exclusive, but since everyone it speaking in a language only they understand, then they can all go fuck themselves.

Religious Quote of the day

Thou shall not go mental and

do a number on someones head

Local News

POLITICS:

the Ultra middle Party leader Norbert Nice will be running for office in the Foddleburg North bye-elections, next Saturday. The UMP is known as a very aggressive political party, who are not quite sure which direction to take.

He will be up against the National Right candidate Adolf Smith and the Wollen Socks Nice Party's Veronica Cupcake.

BOYS BRIGADE

Captain Wearmaning (right),

leader of 27th platoon of the

Boys Brigade from the St.

Lookyhere Church on Seethe-

light Way, has welcomed the

new look for the Platoon.

"The youth organisations ist

growing beautifully" He said

Dan Druff shampoo

POLICE WARNING!!!

Police have issued a statement saying:

Contrary to public beliefs. Urinating in the bath does not make your hair glow and your complections smooth. It just makes you smell of pish.

So they have asked the culprits  to refrain from peeing in the public baths


IS THE FOOLS FUNNYBONE JUST TOO DAMN FUNNY?

we have conducted a survey amongst experts and the general public who claim to have a sense of humour to get their opinions on what effect the release of the Fools Funnybone 1 has had on society.

As yet no one has answered us, leading us to believe they are still laughing and cannot bring themselves to answer.


Which leaves us with a BIG  problem, as FF2 is even funnier and we fear that some might die laughing. So should we carry a Government Health warning, because can it be true..........

the Fools Funnybone

is just too damn funny

Further in this Edition

Sport

TOUR DE FODDLEBURG

Plus all sporting results, football, rugby and racing results HERE

Religion

Entertainment

Kiddies Korner

All this and much much more

the smart new look of the B.B.

NEWS FROM AROUND THE GLOBE

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Today's weather sponsered by just-guessing.com: freezing rain,thunder,sun  temperture low:-15c high:+30c

Copyright © 1996-2017 www.zeek.org.uk.  All rights reserved.