3 times a year,February,June,October Copyright © 1996-2017 www.zeek.org.uk All rights reserved.
film showbiz music gossip
The latest film news from Barry Nobman
Here we are again film fans with all the latest film news from Holywood, Bollywood and Fuckwood.
My selection this time of new movies is a blockbuster film from Steven Spamburger costing a staggering €13.25.
After such classic animal films such as Pig, Beethoven, King Kong and Spank my monkey, This week sees Hollywood releasing the new family film about a sheep which they wittily entitled Dinner.
(right) Larry happy on the set of the new blockbuster film 'Lunch' just before he was eaten
A hilarious film following the adventures of Lamby Lambchops, who gets lost when his human family (the Bastards) leave him locked in his barn because the night before he had been a naughty sheep. When he finally escapes and with the help of some animal friends, fights disaster after disaster and finally finds his way back home to the new family home, just in time to be eaten for Sunday lunch. Out Friday around tea-time and appearing at all the major cinema's and restaurants
Well, that's all we have for you, for now, join me again next time for some more crap news about really crap movies, that I get paid to watch. Bye for now
What's hot on the boardwalk?
directed by Jonathan Dummy & starring Rodie Fosterchild and Roberto Brown
Holy cow or should I say Holy sheep, this play is just HOT! HOT! HOT!
I really just want to rip both their clothes off and pee all over them, cause these lambs are on fire.
But in all sincerity there really should be a health warning posted on this play
because you have so much pleasure watching it, your heart might explode, honest!!!
For the part of Falafel Erector, the nutjob sheep shagger with a very small penis, Roberto Brown was perfectly cast and Rodie Fosterchild as Fleece Farming was just a dream to watch as she asks that perv Falafel some assistance in a case she is working
on. The 2 bounce off each other, literally, as Roberto
has no control of his body balance.
(left) Falafel and Fleece during their first encounter at Falafel's jail and (right) Roberto Brown in top form as that scary Falafel Erector, as he explains about sheep
No words I write will do this play justice, so I will shut the fuck up and suggest you get your lazy butts off the couch and go and witness this gem before it's too late and those bastards pull the plug on it and they will, you know.
Be sure to check your local press for details
Bobby gives this play
Television Tony Typhoo's TV Tips
What to watch the coming week on the tele,
brought to you by television addict Tony Typhoo.
Tony watches everything on his 241 television sets and what he doesn't watch he records for later on one of his 47 recorders.
Well he didn't get eyes like that watching Porn, well, maybe a bit
The Fools Funnybone is an idea & created & written by Zeek Catweazle
at the Tight Fisted Cheapo Studios, Cabannes, France
Published by Dodgy Bastard Promotions, Dundee, Scotland
Some photo's were borrowed, but the humour, the design & concept of the Fools Funnybone is (c) s.a.smith/zeekthefreak2018
You can contact me,via the form below or email @Fools Funnybone
Do you have an funny advertisement, send it in. Remember to add' 'advertisement' to the subject.'
Do you have tips or ideas, that you think would work in the Fools Funnybone, feel free to send your idea. Remember to add 'idea' as subject.
If you would like to be included in one of the stories, send me an email, adding 'include me' as subject, but give me some tips of your good and bad points...it is on your own risk, anything can happen, but remember, it's all in fun, so no moaning afterwards LOL
if you are a grumpy bastard and just want to moan or complain, then stand in line and I'll get back to you in about 10 years or you can just FUCK OFF...this tabloid is all in fun, it is not meant to hurt,maim or disrespect anyone. So lighten up ffs
County jail needs some new inmates. If you would like some a relaxing time then go to break-the-law.com. Only job requirements: GCE diploma to break rocks.
call 02346.63524 (this will be your number)
Dodgy bastards Protection Ltd are looking for a few shady characters to threaten and beat up pensioners and shop keepers. Must be handy with hands and a hatchet. Don't call us, we'll call you
Foddleburg Royal Infirmary is looking people with small warm hands to be a willie washer in the vasectomy section of the hospital. Are you young blond 18 and want a great future in health. Then come along for a personal interview in 5 minutes would be fine
Rubber Johnny is looking for work in the sex industry. Any department will be fine. Even just making the tea
Fluffy the giant Bunny Wabbit needs someone to cuddle. If you think you could handle him. Hop over and see him at the Foddleburg Petting Zoo
Rent a thug. Hatchet Harry Fuckumall is offering his services for a minimum fee. No job is too small. Heads caved in, shops burnt down. No down payment necessary and he offers an easy monthly payment scheme
call Harry 06 111111111
A new brain. Due to modern technology we are offering for a limited time only. Mungo's all new Plastic brain for only $30,000 we will send it straight to your home and for only another $500.000 we'll put the fucker in your head. Don't delay, get a sensible person to call today
Mungo..the brain that matters call 02346 222222
Dundee Football Club. for just $2 Dundee F. C. , In fact, we'll give you the $2 instead. Be warned, they are shyte
Advertisements for the Fools Funnybone. Send yours into the address below
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Remember those beautiful words of Winston Churchill:
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Aliens probed my Anus
a man tells of his ordeel when he was abducted by aliens, who looked a lot like members of his family
Shiek Meporky convicted
The Sheik of the State of Motherwell (it really
is a state) has been arrested when indecent
photo's were found on his computer
FULL FRONTAL NUDITY
the insanity continues
DO YOU THINK YOU COULD FILL THIS SPACE AND WOULD LIKE TO HELP ME.
THEN SPONSOR ME NEXT MONTH, I WILL PUT WHAT-EVER YOU WANT IN HERE
No nudes, football teams, but nearly everything else goes
Copyright © 1996-2017 www.zeekthefreak.com. All rights reserved.
every time we will feature a photo of a nice family, this time
Mr John Fiddlefingers sent a photo of his two boys
Pushubrah - Soap parade
Everytime we feature the video of an unknown band and introduce you to their music
VERY SPECIAL THANKS
Firstly, as always Solange, she takes care of me, feeds me etc and has to put up with my moaning, she is an angel.
I honestly cannot thank Len and the Ýes it Hurts crew for sponsoring this and to Theo Hollenberg and Annette Louise for their donations. I really will not forget it.
Also to everyone, who shares or promotes this or any of my projects on Facebook, Twitter or other social sites, especially Eric Addison and my stalker Pamela Gapes
My Friends, I need your financial assistance, I am begging for it and although I have not much to give in return, I will do my best to make any contribution up to you
if you really want to help out, why not sponsor this tabloid or make a donation, every amount is valuable. The payment options are on this page. Thank you
Here I am again with all the showbiz gossip, all the glamour and the gutter talk. I can't tell you how I get my news, but it is the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth....
People with famous brothers are making a bid to become famous of their own accord. Photo 1 is a photo of Rod Stewart's brother Tod, who has made a physical fitness video called Do you think I'm flexy and photo 2 is of Freddie Mercery's brother Teddy who will star in the new tv programme Garden makeover show for the stars on Foddleburg 2 entitled We will Rock Garden you
I need not wish both all the best as they are guaranteed fame, sponging off their famous brother's success
Hard times have hit the one time Rock legend and Jethro Tull's lead man Ian Anderson. The band's last album was utter crap and only sold 3 copies, to his mum, his auntie Betty and the nice old lady down the street. As our
photo shows, poor Ian has had to take to the streets, not to play but to beg for money, he had to sell his guitar for his last meal. I hope he finds his feet again. He took them off one night (he has false feet) and some bastard stole them
If ever there was proof that monks have a great sense of humour, then surely this proves it. As the silent monks of Tibetan Shutrafckup Temple played a prank on his holiness the Dalai Lama when they got up a little bit earlier and stole his false teeth. As you can see from our picture the Dalai Lama took it in his stride and they all laughed for
hours, silently of course. But, I can assure my dear readers that his holiness got his falsers back long before breakfast and I hear he laughing still.
the Reverend Freako
Granny Pyshderpants will get the answers when she interrogates someone famous. No holding back, straight for the jugular.Due to the religion special in this edition, we have a very special interview
This edition His Holiness the Reverend Freako
GP: So Holy Joe, have you been fiddling about with the choirboys?
RF: Excuse me, I don't understand
GP: yeah!, but what about a few of those nuns and the big hooters?
RF: Can I ask what this interview is about. I only agreed to do it, because you said it would be a candid interview about Jesus or God or the bible
GP: O! stop acting so naive, what goes on in this convents, is it pants down and bleed for Jesus?
RF: Right that's it, Jesus Mary mother of God!!!!!
GP: Cross too tight? Okay one serious question
GF: As Jesus hangs on the cross, they say he died for our sins, yes?
RF: Yes he did
GF: Well, I was wondering......Why the fuck would he, I'm a cunt, I know for certain he didn't do it for me, bet it was for those choir boys, he thighed for our sins, more like it.....pervert!!!!!!
...and with that, the Reverend Freako stormed out of the sex parlour and the interview was over. Yet again, Granny uses the assertive approach and talk utter garbage, it's only because we are shit scared of her that she has not been fired.....fact!
Next Time.....some other poor bastard