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The Tour De Foddleburg 2018

WORLD STARE OFF CHAMPIONSHIPS 2018

from Monte Carlo

 

The World Championship Stare Off started yesterday in Monte Carlo was opened by Prince Bert of Monaco and it is believed that his highness was very impressed by the standard of stare and he even hinted he was taking a course from World Champion Polishman Ivor Sumtinninmyeyeov.

Prince Bert of Monaco's stare he admitted yesterday was still very amateur

Yesterday's action took the stare to the limit, with the aforementioned World Champion winning on a technicality, his opponent American Drew Barryless needed to pee and was disqualified.

The big surprise of the first round was the knock out of Irishman Tool O'Wituryelookinat by Blind Czech amateur Emáinek Blindovsky, although this result is subject to an enquiry. The Irish claiming the opponent was blind. The Czech refused to comment as his guide dog lead him away. The Official Czech team coaches called the Irish cry babies and bad losers.

The referee committee convenes today to discuss this match

Action from yesterday's mixed semi finals Bruce the bah sniffer beat Susan Googly-eyed

Yesterday's 1st Round Results

 

Ivor SUMTINNNINMIEYEOV beat Drew BARRYLESS (disqualified)

 

Evert KEEPONLOOKIN beat Nora BATTANEYLID

 

Emáinek BLINDOVSKY beat Tool O'WITURYELOOKINAT

Although this match might have a re-stare

 

Bjorn BLINKENSEN beat Olav SØREYESEN

 

in the mixed semi finals

Bruce the bah sniffer beat Susan Googly-eyed (transvestite)

after extra time

 

The Editor's voice

 

Welcome to the Fools Funnybone, No 4. Where the fuck have you been, you've missed 2 FF's.

Nah!only kidding, welcome to number 2 and I really do hope you enjoyed Number 1. Only a few people I know actually took the time to tell me their views, it seems people are scared to admit it made them laugh, for that would mean they like something I do, ha ha ha

Number 2 is funnier, I think and maybe even a bit sillier, but that my friends is gonna be the trend,ha ha ha. I hope you enjoy the humour of No. 2and remember folks, don't take everything literally or so seriously, it is honestly just meant to make you laugh and is in no way intended to

shame disrespect or annoy anyone and it's FREE.

REMEMBER PLEASE SPREAD THE WORD AND TELL THE WORLD ABOUT THE FOOLS FUNNYBONE

LAST TIME we told the tale of the sex operation that went wrong, you know the dude that ended up a tree...if you can't remember the story, go back now and read it again...hurry up....we will wait here....zzzz! Okay, now you remember. Well, there has been a development in the case. Fungus McNosyfecker continues the story:

The courts have rejected a 370 zillion pound settlement claim from the Bush family lawyer, Hector Smthen-hythen-House. A spokesman for the Crown court said to the lawyer to....and we quote.....

'Get a fucking grip on yourself, you total fucking retard idiots'

We here at FF take that as a maybe, but we know this story is far from over and we will keep you up to date with developments

Sponsored by Sare-Ars Cycling ointment

Yesterday saw the 23rd Tour De Foddleburg start with an 8km time trial and already it looks like it is going to be another exciting tour. All this according to our cycling specialist Ger Inurtube

Last year's Tour winner Pants Armpong (pictured below)

set an unbeatable time of 8 minutes and 52 seconds and is once again as he was last year

wearing the brown poop

colour leaders .jersey.

He was a full 4 minutes

quicker than the number

2, Spanjard Jaun Wheel.

But there was more than

a little commotion how-

ever as revival teams

claims of Pants using

doping and bein a cheat.

This accusation is being

strongly denied by the

Officials of Pants Spy team claiming he has always been so ugly and that Pants urine test was as clear as a mountain stream, but we have our doubts.

 

Here is the results of yesterdays stage:

1. Pants Armpong SPY 8.52 mins

2. Jaun Wheel DAYGO 12.49 mins

3. Uri Popatabortwo TIT 12.50 mins

 

last:

240. Kris Krashalot MINGE 3.25.98 (that's his time, not date of birth)

 

TODAYS STAGE:

FODDLEBURG TO BRICKWALLSVILLE 820 kilometres

 

Blind man Krashalot who finished last

GOBSHYTE LOOSES WORLD HEAVY-WEIGHT BOXING TITLE

 

Irish World Heavyweight Boxing Champion Gobshyte O'Maley lost his heavyweight title last night when he was knocked out in the 4th round by virtually unknown contender Miss Camila Lopez, a stripper from Peru.

The first 3 rounds were all going Gobshyte's way, but at the start of the 4th, all hell broke loose when he commented on how ugly Camila's shoes were and she went absolutely apeshit and beat the living crap out of him. So badly the ref just had to stop the fight. As our photo shows Gobshyte took a good arse whipping

from the stripper and he has later

apologised to her for his childish

remark and has said he wants to

buy her dinner

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Above: Gobshyte getting beat up

and right Camia looking lovely

just after the fight

 

 

We have later heard that Camila has declined his offer as she was quoted as saying: 'she only dated real men'.

Gobshyte whelped like a little girlie on hearing this news, but his team are still hoping for a rematch sometime next year.

YESTERDAY'S SPORTING RESULTS due to the severe weather conditions yesterday,

most sporting activities were abandoned, but there are always some stupid wankers who just had to do it,

even when it is fucking torture outside and you should just stay in bed

 

THE FODDLEBURG HALF MARATHON

1. Ali Reallyneedakip (Senegal) 1 hour 20 mins. 10 secs

2. Rush Tothefinish (USA) 1 hour 20 mins. 11 secs

3. Crap Inzepants (Germany) 1 hour 20 mins. 12 secs.

 

RUGBY RESULTS Dire division

Sultans of Swing 205 TV Writers 3

Copyright © 1996-2018 www.zeek.org.uk All rights reserved.

Can you see what it is yet?

JOIN THE DOTS

Save the photo, print it out and then join the dots

JOKE OF THE MONTH

 

A lesbian girl takes her straight workmate girlfriend to a gay bar for the very first time.

She asked everyone to please show respect to her as she was not gay.

The butch busty barmaid laughed out loud.

"I will christen her spaghetti."

Everyone except the gay friend laughed.

"Okay" she said, "against my better judgement,I will bite. Why do you call her spaghetti?"

the busty barmaid laughed and answered:

"Because,spaghetti is also straight until it is made wet."

Fun for the whole family on a rainy day or to pass the time if you are just a bored shitless big baby

Once upon a time, not so long ago in the Wibbly Wobbly Forrest, lived a very jolly man called Ole Jeremias Asswipe, Although he was a big, very fat man, he was also a very happy man and he loved to laugh all the time, sometimes laughing so hard his haemorrhoids hurt and he had to get Mr Squinky the squirrel to rub his very special ointment on his haemorrhoids and that was something Mr Squinky really fucking hated,

because although Ole

Jeremias was a happy

man, he was also a

dirty Ole bastard and

never really washed

his ass correctly and

there was always shit

and stuff caught up in

his bum fluff and that

really pissed Squinky

off. So as soon as he heard Jeremias laugh and scream.

”O! O! Looks like me haemorrhoids need a seeing too, I wonder where Mr Squinky is?”

well, he was off like Usain Bolt on 300 cups of coffee.

Pongo's bedtime story

 

OleJeremias & the Wibbly Wobbly forest

 

with old man Smelopoop

SPOT THE...

Perv, the man with hemmerhoids, the bitch and the utter wanking cunting nob-jockey,the one armed woman,the slut,the clapping spaz,the one that weed himself

Did you get them all? Check out the correct answers here

The wibbly wobbly Forest was situated next to Glumsville, where everyone did and acted the same as everyone else, day in day out, week after week, month after month, year after year. All the fucking time until they died. Monotone doesn't even come near how boring they were. They did, however, have one joy in life, something called sarcasm. They love to do it all the time and they never gave a shit about the feelings of the other.

 

Anyway, most people of Glumsville avoided the Wibbly Wobbly forest for fear of bumping into Ole Jeremias and maybe catching his most awful of happiness bugs and they too would start laughing and being silly and that honestly will just not do in their safe normal world, where everything is fine and dandy and nobody smiles or gives another a compliment.because then that would break the golden rules of life of Glumsville always do what your parents did and especially do not enjoy life and never ever ever ever try to be original, because people just not do that. Life was only meant for serving their masters and dying just after retirement age.

 

But, Ole Jeremias did not mind that the citizens of Glumsville never called or came to see him, because he was actually very happy in his Wibbly Wobbly forest and not one of those bastards will take that away from him. For him, they could all go and fuck themselves.

And guess what children, Ole Jeremias, well he lived happily ever after.

But tell me, who do you want to be like, Children? I know I want to be like Ole Jeremias.

 

Next time, we will have more stories from the Wibbly Wobbly forest, but for now, I must help Ole Jeremius find Mr Squinky......where is he?

 

'O! Mr Squnky......!!!!!!!”

night night

BEDTIME